Is Quiet Time Wasted Time?
"But, though there is this continual commerce
between God and the Soul,
the habit of prayer must be strengthened
by set seasons, places, and purposes."
~Charlotte Mason
Confessions
This post is one of embarrassing confessions. But I share publicly for those of you who struggle with similar issues.
Confession #1: I am NOT a morning person.
It’s not that I’m not chipper in the morning or that I always sleep until the alarm rings. In actuality, I’ll lay there sometimes, awake and happy, having convos with my family or thinking of my “To Do” list. It just takes me like half an hour to literally get out of bed before I’m ready to take on the day.
Confession #2: I am NOT a night owl either.
Living the busy life that many of us live, there are a ton of personal things I can finally get to once my daughter is asleep. Things like read a book for leisure, scrapbook, write, organize, clean, etc… Except, by the time evening comes, I’m wiped out from a full day’s activities. My body, and, quite frankly, my brain, all shut down from exhaustion so I either conk out early or go into zombie mode, slowly and unsuccessfully trying to accomplish some things…one thing…anything.
Confession #3: Once I get out of bed, I go into SERIOUS work mode.
The moment my feet hit the floor, I become like the Energizer Bunny and want to take on the world. My nighttime rest revitalizes me and I want to utilize all my vigor before it runs out (somewhere around noon) so I start to do all the things I wanted to do the night before. There’s just one glitch. It’s a brand new day, which means breakfast must be made, our dog must be walked and homeschooling must be started. So what happens? I become overambitious, do too much and our day is delayed on many levels, leading to disarray.
Confession #4: I have trouble being still.
Just call me “Martha” because I am totally a doer. If I see a need and no one else is doing anything about it, I take action. If I’m inspired to create some sort of project, I do it. If something needs to be organized, I make it happen. I can’t help it. It’s how the Lord has wired me. It’s one of my gifts. But it’s also one of my downfalls. I “do” so much of my work that I don’t sit still and give the Holy Spirit a chance to do His work in me.
Any of you thinking my confessions are no big deal? Well, here’s my big whammy:Confession #5: My aforementioned actions show I think Quiet Time with God is Lost Time.
There it is folks. This seasoned Christian leader of her church, who’s raising up her child in the ways of the Lord, thinks that the time she should take out to commune with God can be more effectively spent doing other “necessary” things. In essence, I’m wasting time if I sit still with God before I do anything else. Gosh, this looks even more horrifying written out. I can’t tell you this is a new struggle that came with motherhood because then I’d be lying. Remember, I’m a doer. Therefore, I was always “doing” one work or another. What occupies my time has changed, but the struggle of prioritizing my Quiet Time hasn’t.
Consequences
What I can tell you is what was worse because of motherhood: the fact that I was modeling this lifestyle for my daughter. It’s the exact opposite of the spiritual legacy I dreamed of leaving for her. And you know what else? I was oblivious to it.
It wasn’t until I was having some tea with a couple of friends while our children were at a co-op together that it was revealed to me. These moms were sharing of how necessary their quiet time with the Lord was, and how it was so sacred that if their children awoke in the process, the kids would either stay quiet or quietly join them. That blew me away because I knew for a fact that at least one of the children was just as active and assertive as my daughter. Yet, there were no excuses for them. Quiet Time was not optional for them. It was a necessity to live, to live life more abundantly and to be better moms and teachers.
Then, the next words that came out of my dear friend’s mouth pierced my heart: When we don't make time for God, we teach our children that He's not important. We model a life devoid of an intimate relationship with Him in our daily lives.
Charlotte Mason described the sweet ideal of living each day in constant communion with God in her 4th Volume titled Ourselves:
“A hundred times a day our thoughts turn Godward in penitence, in desire, in fear, in aspiration, and — this is a truly delightful thought — in sympathy. Our hearts glow with delight at the blue of a gentian, the glory of a star, the grace of some goodness that we get news of: we lift up our hearts unto the Lord, though without a word; and the throb is one of sympathy, for we know that His delight, also, is in beauty and goodness.
These continual movements of the soul Godward hardly seem to us to be prayer, but they meet with response. We cry in fear, and hope is spoken to us; in penitence, and we breathe peace; in sympathy, and we expand in love. These are the answers of our ‘Almighty Lover’ to the dull, uncertain movements of our poor hearts.”
I had to repent and ask for forgiveness for the poor example I was setting for my daughter. How could I have ever thought I didn’t have time for God, or even lose time, when He is the Giver of Time?!
In reality, what I was losing were opportunities for my Heavenly Father to speak to my heart in His still and small voice, intimate and life-changing moments with my sweet Savior, much needed direction from the Holy Spirit and all the joy that comes from being in His presence.
Change
Thank God for the many ways He speaks to us and redirects us when we go astray. He not only convicted me through my friends, but He also inspired me to get creative with our particular family dynamic to make a change. The change was simple: begin our day with scheduled prayer.
I really like the way Tauren Wells, a favorite Christian artist of ours, shares on prayer in his devotional “When We Pray”:
“A friend once told me that if you don’t have a time and place to pray, it won’t happen, and I think he was right. Having a set time and place or an appointment on the calendar helps in making our prayer life more consistent. Sometimes when God wants to take us ‘a little further,’ He calls us to change not the length of our prayer time but the consistency of it.”
Simply put by Miss Mason:
“We must give ourselves time to pray and times of prayer; rising early in the morning, we must seek our God and lay our day before Him, with its fears, hopes, and desires, in reverent attitude and with attentive mind.” (Vol 4, pg 189)
Yes, you can pray at all times. His Word does tell us to pray continually. And yes, you don’t have to pray in the morning. The point is to select a time of day to regularly dedicate unto God. For me, if it doesn’t get done in the morning, it won’t get done at all.
Obviously, the ideal would be for me to wake up at least an hour before my daughter to have my personal quiet time with God. Since my daughter is a very early riser, she wakes up before me so the “ideal” is not really ideal for me right now. However, that discussion with my friends inspired me to create a Quiet Time (QT) area for Isabel so as I’m having my QT with God, so could she.
The activities I chose for my daughter were mostly based on her interest. However, I also included a couple of activities I feel are important for her to start implementing from now, such as a prayer journal. Here are some options I included for her to select from so we could have our QT with the Lord simultaneously.
- Devotionals
- Scripture Coloring Books
- Choreographing a Worship Dance
- Quiet Time Journal
- Biblical Craft (this Izzy added herself which she creates after she reads a Bible story of her choice)
Organizing QT materials was super helpful but it wasn’t enough. I had to train my daughter to stay focused, complete her QT and use her time effectively with minimal interruptions. I had to especially train her not to constantly interrupt my time (which we’re still working on).
At one point, she kept choosing the same option (Biblical Craft) so I had to implement a rotation that she checked off. I sometimes had her use an activity cube so whatever side landed upright was what she had to do for her QT that day. There are times we may read a devotional together or color together. I often have to model for her so she doesn’t rush through her time with God. We try to start with a worship song and end with prayer, either corporate or individual.
It’s been a couple of years now since we implemented QT before our school day. We no longer follow this schedule because the habit was formed. Now that my daughter is older, she’s more independent and responsible with her intimate time with God. She chooses how she wants to spend her QT. This doesn’t mean it always happens. Every so often, we have to reboot and refocus. But for the most part, it has become routine and a more consistent start of our day. As a result, I have seen the growth in us both because of this spiritual discipline.
So for all of you struggling with your Quiet Time with God because of all the other factors in your life, be encouraged! The Holy Spirit is the Master of Creativity and will guide you in implementing time with Him. Trust me, it’s not a waste of time. In fact, the Giver of Time will increase your time. But you just gotta pray.