Socialization within Homeschooling:
Ideas for Group Interactions
“How is Izzy going to socialize?” was the question I got almost every time I told anyone I was going to homeschool my daughter. The truth is, it was a concern I had for her too. However, I had to be obedient to the call of home education that God had placed on our hearts.
In retrospect, if I had known she was going to do SO much socializing, I would’ve homeschooled from the beginning instead of waiting until 2nd grade!!
Socialization means something different to everyone since we all have diverse family dynamics.
For us, I have an only child at home who THRIVES on socializing with her peers. She and I spend a lot of time together, precious mother/daughter moments, which I’m forever grateful for.
But there are times she just wants to play with peers, just like I need “adult” time with my friends. With no siblings around her age to play with, she joyfully looks forward to any moment with other children. As a result, I am very intentional in providing these moments my girl longs for.
I’m also grateful that one of the many beauties of homeschooling is that I can create AND choose the learning environment I desire for my child.
It is my privilege, my right, and my duty as a parent to be watchful and protect while still letting my child spread her wings. Therefore, I carefully and prayerfully select communities that help my daughter grow in every way possible and where she can be a blessing in return.
If you, too, are wondering how your child can socialize outside of the traditional school setting like I once did, the options are endless. Again, every family is different, but here are some suggestions of ways we’ve been able to interact with others.
IDEAS FOR GROUP INTERACTIONS
Join Groups
Joining co-ops, extracurricular activities, youth groups, nature groups or even informal groups that meet up weekly at the park help tremendously. You may not always find co-ops that follow your educational philosophy, but if you come across a co-op with similar values or approach, it might be worth looking into.
Create Groups
What if there are no groups around or there aren’t any groups you’re interested in joining? Then start your own!
That was one of my very first lessons in homeschooling. I wanted my daughter to be in specific groups, like an art group or a book club, but there weren’t any so in time, I created my own.
It may sound intimidating to start your own groups, but as you pray for wisdom and discernment as a home educator, you also pray for provision and creativity.
God knows the desires of your heart and He loves your child more than you do. He will always provide what they need. I can’t tell you how many times God has provided an artist who I could work with for an art club or a facility to meet up without having to pay a fee. Or when He brought me a group of homeschooling friends who wanted to read children’s literature together so I could finally have a book club. He even provided Nature Clubs for us to participate in and when a mom stepped down from managing one of them, I stepped up to that role so my daughter would keep having opportunities to be with other children on a weekly basis exploring nature together.
If it’s in your heart to stay true to the educational philosophy you follow, then you can have an informal group with other like-minded moms like I did. I follow Charlotte Mason’s educational principles so although the children in our group differed in ages, we chose subjects to study together once a week that weren’t as age-specific such as:
- Picture Study
- Composer Study
- Singing
- Dance
- Swedish Drill (fitness)
- Art
- Handicrafts
- Nature Study
- Geography
- Literature (like reading a great read aloud or doing a Shakespeare play together).
These weren’t all done in one day. We alternated some subjects by terms.
Growing Co-op
Opening Time: Mission/Vision, Guidelines, Code of Conduct, Schedule. This time will be spent reciting poetry and singing a hymn together.Folk song in Spanish. Next month they’ll learn one in Greek, and then the following month, one in Mandarin. (We are a very multicultural group
).Split into classes: Early Years, Form 1, Forms 2 & 3. Each class has their schedule of 3 subjects, such as Literature, Geography, and Shakespeare.
I love each one who makes our group truly a glimpse of the Heavenly Hope to come in Christ.
”
If you’re the only Charlotte Mason mom in your local area, you can still take a similar approach because most homeschooling parents are interested in Nature Study, Literature, or the arts, even if they don’t follow Miss Mason’s philosophy. You can follow the method informally so it can have a more inclusive atmosphere and provide the fellowship your child needs.
Special Celebrations
Another idea for group gatherings is to do special homeschool celebrations.
As one of the Event Coordinators for our local chapter of a NYS homeschool support group called LEAH (Loving Education at Home), I have been blessed to work alongside fellow LEAH moms in providing such opportunities. Here are some of our events that usually end with tons of play-time afterwards (another plus for any homeschooled child):
- Meet & Greet Park Day
- Apple Picking
- Family Potluck
- Thanksgiving Potluck
- Blast from the Past History Fair (dress up as a historical figure and present on their life – see pics below of my daughter and her friend tag-teaming as scientists Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey)
- Reading Masquerade (Dress up as book character from a current book read and do a book presentation)
- Night of Recitation
- National Pancake Day @IHOP
- Math Challenge
- Spelling Bee
- Science Fair
- Education Fair (Your child displays & presents their favorite project from the current school year in any content area)
- Cultural Fair
- Field Day
- Recognition Night (Award Ceremony at the end of the school year where parents create their own award and celebrate their children. One year for my daughter, my award was titled the “The Pickwick Club” since my daughter loved the Little Women series and really connected with Jo’s character. I gave her a quill pen and ink set as a gift to celebrate her growth as a writer.)
We also do trips together to museums, theaters, nature preserves, etc.
Book Celebrations are another special thing I do with my child at home. After we finish a book for school, we put together a themed “party” and invite friends who have read the same book to participate. Sometimes we dress up as the characters, create activities based on the book, and/or cook foods from the story. In the past, we’ve done Narnia, Little House (see pics below), and quite a few other titles/series.
Organize Weekly Park Meet-Ups
Leading your own content-specific groups or events sound too nerve-wracking for you? Then just plan weekly meet-ups. You can choose a park, day, and time that others know will always be in place. Share with other homeschooling friends, local groups, and social media. As the word spreads, more and more people will come with their kiddos.
Spend Time with Family &
Other Non-homeschooling Friends
Group gatherings don’t all have to be with other homeschooling friends. There are other opportunities such as spending time with cousins and friends from the neighborhood, church, extracurricular activities, and other walks of life.
IDEAS FOR TEEN GATHERINGS
A huge benefit of homeschooling is that most of our kids can hang out with children of various ages easily because they’re not used to being separated by ages or grades. My daughter can effortlessly spend time with a one-year-old as she would another 11 year old as she would a teenager. It’s pretty amazing to watch.
Regardless, the teen years can get more challenging. There may come a time your teen doesn’t want to attend activities where there are mostly little kids or when there are less teens being homeschooled so your child is in the minority. This is when parents have to be even more proactive with group gatherings.
The suggestions I gave above still apply, but the content and audience change. Church youth groups and extracurricular activities supply wonderful opportunities for teens to connect. For school, you can try finding teen groups that are gathering in your local homeschool support groups. If there aren’t any, like I said before, create your own.
Don’t worry if there aren’t enough teen homeschoolers in your community. It’s not about quantity. It’s about quality so if you have a solid group of 3-5 teens, that’s all you need.
Now, I know firsthand how much work it takes to organize something. However, the big shift here that differs from before is that you now have a teen on your hands. Your teen, along with the help of others, can work independently in creating communities they want to be part of. All you would have to do is provide opportunities, support, and guidance.
This past year, our local LEAH chapter came across this very same need for a teen group. We shared ideas with each other but I also reached out to a fellow homeschool mom from another chapter who has 3 teens. She shared the following ideas that worked so well for their teen group, that she didn’t do a thing except be a support, facilitate co-ops, and find spaces for them to meet up at.
Start off a Teens-Only Meet-Up
This can be whatever your teens want it to be and they can meet up however many times they want. It can be monthly or weekly. Whatever works for them.
Vision Meeting for the Teens
Parents can set up a Vision Meeting for the teens. Have them over for brunch or pizza in the evening. Ask them what they want to see or do for the year so there’s ownership. It’s not another homeschool class mom wants them to attend. Instead, it’s a gathering of value for them. It can be their safe place where they make life-long friends.
Meet Up Activities
If they are monthly meet-ups, some ideas could be:
- Paintball/air soft
- House gathering/“Hangs”
- Movies
- Escape Room
- Meet at a Museum
- Hot Topics Discussion
It can include relevant topics chosen by parents based on observations or student interests: Current Events, men are from Mars & women are from Venus, DC vs Marvel, etc… It’s a great intro to get them into talking. (If it’s a debate, let them know beforehand of the topic and they have to prepare in advance to defend their stance.)
Teen Co-ops
Classes can be alternated by terms (12 week sessions)
Some class ideas can be:
- Art
- Handicrafts
- Citizenship
- Civics
- Book Club (can include literature from a historical period)
- Creative Writing
- Shakespeare
- Poetry
- Drama
Drama Ideas
1) Book/Discussion/Play
Term 1-Read a play
Terms 2 & 3- Discussion/Production (rehearsals, costumes, set, sound, created bulletins, etc…)
2) Create an Original Play
Term 1- Write a play
Terms 2 & 3- Discussion/Production (rehearsals, costumes, set, sound, created bulletins, etc…)
Science Day Workshop
-full-blown dissections
-3 hour workshop
-Resources: Specimens and Dissection Kits bought online
Yearbooks
Created by the teens. Some ideas:
- Kids submit pictures, stories, poetry, artwork.
- Parents submit pictures from events throughout the year.
- Profile page for graduates or profile page for teens (maybe vision for their graduating year: i.e: Vision for 2020)
Newsletter Team
Kids work on it with editor-in-chief (parent or student)
Possible Content:
- Upcoming events
- Current Events
- Movie Reviews
- Jokes
- Art
- Poetry
These are all just ideas to show that there are many group gatherings you can provide and tailor for your child as well as their local homeschooling community.
SOME ADVICE WHEN CHOOSING GROUPS
Keep Balance
In your desire to provide moments of socialization for your children, it’s easy to get sucked into participating in every group possible, like I did. It’s tempting to be part of everything offered for your child’s sake. My first year homeschooling, I was out of the house so much, we barely did any schooling at home. There was an imbalance.
To keep the balance, it’s so important that you really know your child and understand who they are as a person. Think about what their desires are and what are the needs you help fulfill as their mother. Also, remember what the vision God has given to you for your child and for your homeschool.
I had to look at what was really dear to my daughter’s heart, what was pivotal in our homeschool and what activities I just thought were really cool but not really necessary.
On one end, I had to balance the fact that my daughter is a SERIOUS extrovert. But I also had to keep in mind that we needed time to do school work at home too. As a result, I started being more protective of our mornings and carefully choosing what afternoon activities we could participate in so they wouldn’t interfere with our morning lessons or keep us out of our home all day. The Holy Spirit has been guiding me in this area so I have to very careful to heed His voice and not overfill our schedule.
Be Selective of Your Tribe
Though there may be many opportunities for group interactions, a mother MUST be selective of who she chooses her child to spend hours on end with. It’s okay to hang out with other struggling families who you can be a light to. That’s what God calls us to do.
However, who you chose to “live life” with and spend hours with has to be more prayerfully and carefully selected. These other children will inevitably influence your child and vice versa so they must be children who will have a positive impact on them. For example, being around other kids who enjoy creating, using their imagination and playing outdoors help protect your child from the modern pressures of electronics. (This was important to our family since we had to help our child overcome a stronghold with electronics.)
There’s no such thing as perfection, but attributes such as kindness, compassion, dedication, and obedience go a long way. You want your child to experience authentic friendships and healthy family dynamics so when they are older, they know what to look for in choosing their own friends. In providing such friendships, we must be protective, wise, and attentive to the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Mama Needs Friends Too
A mother, too, needs such friends, women who breathe life into her. Don’t feel pressured to be in an uncomfortable “relationship” because your child really likes a particular friend. It makes such a difference when you find a kindred spirit in another mom AND your children get along. If you and another mom don’t really “click” but your kids do, you are not forced to continue this relationship out of desperation to provide companionship for your child.
The 2 homeschooling families we spend the most time with both have multiple children. We spend innumerable hours together, both in our CM informal co-op as well as play dates throughout the week. In their homes, my daughter has witnessed chores being completed with joy, compassion for younger siblings, and obedience to their parents. I, too, have been inspired to require more responsibility from my daughter after having seen the loving expectations of these family households where they work together in keeping their home.
These friendships did not happen by chance. I asked the Lord for new friends to walk this journey with as we are the only homeschoolers in our circle. They are my answered prayer in COUNTLESS ways, including introducing me to Charlotte Mason. They make us better. And that’s what God does. He calls us to homeschool, even when people think we’re doing our only child a disservice by not “socializing” them, and then He provides ALL we need, like friends who become family.
IN CLOSING...
The group interactions may not always be perfect, but to see my daughter prosper in her social skills, be invitational regardless of age, lovingly and independently work out conflicts, grow in confidence and creativity within her hours of play with others, and positively learn in wonderful group settings has been confirmation that homeschooling was the best decision we could’ve made for our very social young lady.
In time, I pray the same will happen for you as you explore different group interactions that work for your uniquely designed child.
The bulk of this article was originally published in my Homeschooling an Only Child Series- Part 2: Group Interactions.