Like many of you, I read to my daughter from the very beginning. Any time of the day was an opportunity to discover a new story. She’d often go from toys to books and vice versa. We’d never go to sleep without reading together or she’d read on her own religiously. It was a way of life for us.

Then what we call in Spanish the “corre corre” began (rushing back and forth). We would come home late from a co-op, music or dance class, or from a play date, resulting in me rushing her evening routine. (My daughter also marches to the beat of her own drum and would often dawdle during the routine process so lots of time was wasted.) By the end of the night, I was exhausted and when she’d ask me to read, I would tell her it was too late.  Little by little, she stopped asking.  Before we knew it, what was once a lifestyle for us dissipated.  My daughter was no longer reading on her own.

How can we have positive life habits for years and in just a matter of weeks, they disappear?  It’s crazy but true.  Charlotte Mason knew this well and in her 5^th Volume wrote:

“Habits which are allowed to fall into disuse are all the same as though they had never been formed; powers not exercised grow feeble and are lost.”

I wanted to cry.  Of all the struggles I’ve had with my assertive and independent daughter, reading was never one of them.  It was actually what often bonded us.  It brought peace to our homeschool as well as to our home.  Something had to change.  I had to make that change because I was the one who dropped the ball on this one.

I started with some self-reflection and pinpointed several ways I went astray as a parent:

• First was what I mentioned before.  I was no longer reading with my daughter at night or providing her with the opportunities that Miss Mason often talks about.  This was a major stumbling block for us.

• Secondly, I was not reading myself.  Yes, I read with my daughter for school.  Yes, I read books on home education.  Yes, I read for my Quiet Time.  But I wasn’t reading for leisure, with no purpose other than pure enjoyment.  My husband is also an avid reader.  However, he did most of his reading on his phone or computer.  Therefore, neither one of us was being intentional in modeling a lifestyle of reading. 

• Lastly, I was missing out on other opportunities to read together just for fun.  We have one day of the week when we’re out most of the day.  It’s the day my daughter is part of a drop-off co-op (which is when I get to work on this blog).  She also has a couple of music classes and a dance class with breaks in between.  Before, we used those breaks to sit at a café and have tea time while reading our own books.  Somewhere down the line, I stopped creating this opportunity to read together, and started “maximizing” my time by running errands instead.  Whether it was food shopping or stopping off at some craft shop for something we were going to work on, we were spending more time shopping.  Now I had a little girl who wanted to shop (doesn’t matter what it was) in place of reading.  As I write this, it looks worse on paper and makes me feel more guilty. 

But thank the Lord for His grace and mercies that are new every morning!  His Holy Spirit wants very much to be part of our everyday routine, leading and directing which ways we should follow.  He reminded me of what my husband has been telling me for years when I find myself spiritually off-track: “Go back to what used to work”.  In other words, go back to the habits I used to have that brought me closer to God.  In this case, I needed to go back to the routines I used to have in place that instilled a love for reading.  Miss Mason wisely points out:

“One more thing is of vital importance; children must have books, living books. The best is not too good for them; anything less than the best is not good enough. 

And if it is needful to exercise economy, let go everything that belongs to soft and luxurious living before letting go the duty of supplying the books, and the frequent changes of books, which are necessary for the constant stimulation of the child’s intellectual life.”

I gladly do without the “soft and luxurious living before letting go the duty of supplying the books”.  Yet, I believe if Miss Mason were alive today, she’d write something like this on her PNEU* blog:

 “Also do without the hustle and bustle of life before letting go of reading opportunities.

So here are the changes I made and I share in hopes they may help anyone out there struggling with a similar situation:

  Go back to what worked   

I went back to creating opportunities such as reading at night, whether together or independently, and tea time during our break. Before bed, sometimes we cuddle together as I read or I comb her hair as she reads aloud to me.  On the break during our busy day, we’ll go to Dunkin or Starbucks and drink tea while we both read.  It’s such precious bonding time for us.

But this time around, I will not sacrifice these moments at any cost, regardless of my busy schedule and many responsibilities.

  Model Leisure Reading  

The new thing I’ve been trying to instill is reading books for myself in front of her.  I set up a batch of books on my nightstand as my first step to leisure reading.  If she chooses to read independently at night, then I get one of my many books I’m rotating to read near her.  When we have our tea time at a café, then I bring one of my books to read too.  Even my hubby has been more conscious of reading from actual books, comics and the Bible rather than reading them on electronics.

 Find the Right Independent Reading Books 

Let me be clear.  This was not an easy transition.  My daughter gave a lot of push back, as was expected.  It was like starting from scratch with a new habit.  Her main complaint was that she didn’t have anything to read, despite my extensive library of living books. 

Here, I had to really take her personality into account.  

We do read classics and historical books for school, but for her independent books, choice and personal interest is important. 

See, my girl’s not a history buff like her mama so she doesn’t like historical fiction or biographies.  (That’s about half the titles in my library.)  She also enjoys modern books more.  (Older books are another huge fraction of my library.)  What really makes book choices difficult with my daughter is that she LOVES humorous books.  And let’s be real, humorous books can often be just plain silly with no real substance. 

Did I forget to mention my girl is also a “tween”?  Yeah, the tween phase doesn’t make this process any easier.  It’s definitely more challenging finding living books for older kids.  Then my daughter wants them to be modern AND funny!  ¡Ay yai yai!